Even the Sun Needs An Umbrella

Sunday- easily one of the top five best days of my life. Why? I met Mike and Andy in Cleveland for the Indians v. Orioles game. While Andy was getting FREE food for all of us in the picnic area an employee of the Indians took our photo (it's adorable.) The Indians won the game too, 9-0. BUT the day, the day in it's own was BEAU-tiful.

When we said goodbye the first thing I did was pop in the CD that he made for me for my birthday (yesterday was my 23rd birthday.) It was great and right on for the course of our friendship/relationship to this point. He really makes me smile-

After I got home I spent some time with dad and Kim. We looked at photos of the little one and talked about Indiana a little then I went home, home. When I got home Bruce was already sleeping but mom and I enjoyed the birthday cake she made for me. It was yellow cake with chocolate frosting. She tried to make some kind of flowers on top but I agree with Bruce that it ended up looking more like a pumpkin patch but what does it matter it was delicious!

Sleep followed then I woke up and headed back to Indiana. That's where the story begins.

I want to believe that my friends always support me. I want to stand up for myself and I want to gain some self confidence but sometimes I feel like that isn't allowed. I can't remember a day better then Sunday (within my memory) and for some reason I couldn't hold onto that feeling. That feeling was a good one- I felt pretty. I felt loved. I felt safe. I felt happy- I felt on top of the world! Why is it that every time I feel like that it's soon after followed by a storm?

I was the sunshine on Sunday in a blue sky without a cloud. I was the moon dancing when I slept. I was the sunrise in the early morning on Monday but I became the Thunderstorm without an end Monday night because I didn't use my umbrella to keep me dry. When the rain pelted down on me it stole my "shine." I like being the sun. I like being warm and making people smile but all to often those people/things are what I also alow to make me the storm. My umbrella is under construction but can't pass the test if I'm not holding onto it. My umbrella is strong and honest and given the chance would do away with the rains exsistance. I hope my umbrella will be patient in it's work and I hope we can see the rainbow together.

Today it's gloomy and I'm hidden behind the clouds waiting patiently for today to turn around- to patch up the holes in my umbrella and tell it of it's worth and ask it to stay a while to help me fend off the storms. The sun may be a mighty thing but it's nothing to anyone without an umbrella to scare away the rain and keep it dry.

I don't want more yesterdays.
I want more tomorrows.

No more sappy saps in my blog life but this was needed.

K. Swansun

She grew up in an Indiana town

Good luck trying to follow this one. I have a lot to catch you up on!

Back in Ft. Wayne is not where I would've predicted myself to be if I was prompted with the question, yet here I am. It's not so bad really. On Monday I started my "jobs" One being the Student Life Office Coordinator and the other being the G.A. for the Sports Information Department. School doesn't start until October, 15th and then I'll be hard at work on my MBA. Wow! It's been a wild ride since the last time I left this place in December of 2007 but as the title says "she grew up in an indiana town" so I might as well grow old"er" too.

I really had a lot of good things going in PA to be honest. My life has been a block full of busy since the last time I blogged. The 70 game season is behind me and the start of my MBA lies in front of me. I've made some great contacts in PA and plan to head back over then summer. For now I'll be working 20ish hours a week for Student Life and working for the SID as often as I need to. I'm starting to enjoy the SID it's pretty neat just time consuming. The people I work with are awesome though. As far as Student Life I'm just starting to get a feel for what it is that I'll be doing.

I miss a lot about PA right now though: My friends, my room, my "boy", but I haven't been here long. I think since I've lived in Texas, Kentucky, and PA in the last year and a half the closest I've felt to being home was while I was in PA. I guess you could literally say I left my heart there but things will get better. I just need to be optimistic. (I can't believe I'm blogging while OSU is playing football, fyi!)

So tonight I'll hangout with Emily- haven't seen her in forever but she's been a very wonderful friend- whenever I've needed her. Friday the school has prayer time which is nice and it's with Ben Gates who was here when I was for my undergrad. It was funny- when we were meeting he said he'd just been talking about me. Anyway I asked for a lot of prayers. I asked for housing, school, and Mike. Ben is so good and another lady that was there works in my dept. which is nice too.

I've also been busy decorating my "new" office. I have my rock from palo duro canyon, a cross, a baseball, and a special sticky note that says, "Have a good day!" on my computer ledge thing. Next to that is my devotion and Spanish for Dummies (the audio version.) To the right of that is kind of my own space. I have Kauffman Stadium and Great American photos, San Deigo, Gabriel, My neice and newphew, a Honduran soccer player, me as DownTown, all of my bullentin covers and an email that I got one day with lyrics to a song about yesterday being yesterday and better things to come. But most importantly TWO walls of my office are just straight WINDOWS! :) It's SOOOOO much better then a cubical- hopefully I'll have this spot next year too!

Anyway- I can't imagine blogging about anything else right now especially because Ohio State is playing and it's B-E-A-U tiful outside.

Up Up Up and Away.

Kay